Offered by
Uniform Theatre Society
About this shop
Cry-Baby Adopt an Artist
Gabriel Gagnon (Wade "Cry-Baby" Walker)
$100
Please adopt me; I’m just a little guy trying to survive through the power of coffee, vibes, and questionable dance moves. I can also tune your guitar or your upper traps!
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Arden Phillips (Allison Vernon-Williams)
$100
I’m an English student and a writer, and one of my greatest loves is ballet. When I’m not in rehearsals for Cry-Baby, you can find me curled up with a book or rewatching Legally Blonde.
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Jacob Holloway (Mrs. Cordelia Vernon-Williams)
$100
You should adopt me because I can help you develop and foster your class consciousness. I’m a union-side labour lawyer and when I’m not fighting for workers’ rights, I’m usually at the dog park or baking a tasty treat.
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Amanda Neufeld (Lenora Frigid)
$100
At 6'0, I’m easy to spot in a crowd and I can reach all the high‑up things for you. My vibrant social life consists of weekend walks to the farmers market, board game nights and taking pictures of my cat. Adopt me and I’ll happily shower your fur baby pics with the admiration they deserve.
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Matthew Gregg (Baldwin Blandish)
$100
Hey there! Who’s got two thumbs, is 6’2”, and unbelievably humble?
Hugh Jackman… yes… but also me!
Please consider adopting me! I’ll shower you with compliments and take you bowling, where my complete lack of skill will make you feel like a champion. It’s basically a bargain.
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Benjamin Healey (Whiffle)
$100
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Lucas Paterson (Whiffle)
$100
Lucas is so silly and tiny, he's just happy to be here. His dream is to live in a hut and grow various types of mushrooms.
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Damon Pitcher (Whiffle)
$100
You should adopt me because, as a manual osteopath, you can pick my brain anytime to relieve your various aches and pains while I serenade you with musical theatre songs.
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Sarah Kyle (Pepper Walker)
$100
When I’m not on stage, I enjoy trying out good cafes, strolling Whyte ave, thrifting, and being a daycare teacher. I also really enjoy movies at the metro or watching them at home on VHS while cooking something in my crockpot :)
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Megan Holt (Wanda Woodword)
$100
I love singing, dancing, and occasionally acting a fool. My sister is my best friend and I live to play with my nieces and nephews!
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Sika Clarke (Mona "Hatchet-Face" Malnorowski)
$100
I bring big character energy and silly dance breaks. I’m pretty low maintenance... however, I care deeply about everything and that can be overwhelming. I come fully house trained, with a variety of skills - including graphic and web design.
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Renell Doneza (Dupree W. Dupree)
$100
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Rhiannon Eldridge (Ensemble)
$100
I’m a multi disciplinary theatre artist who loves coffee, crafts, and horror movies. I’m very handy around the house, I’ll fix anything! Will I fix it properly? That’s another story.
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Kit Brooks (Ensemble)
$100
I was born in Regina, Saskatchewan - the city that rhymes with fun! Cheese is my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE food. I know my ABC’s and when I grow up, I want to be Lightning McQueen.
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Robyn Clark
$100
"My siblings have been telling me I'm adopted for years, and for the low low price of $100 you can prove them right! Also I can tell you facts about the LRT and the history of Edmonton municipal elections (I promise they're interesting)"
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Gunho Kwak (Ensemble)
$100
I like staying in and watching a movie or going out for a drink. And probably anything in between. Willing to try new things.
Doesn't matter what we're doing, I will spend the whole time trying to make you laugh.
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Ethan Lang (Ensemble)
$100
I love adventures, The Office and dogs. Haha Joking. Those are pretty sick though. Not here for Hookups. Gemini
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John Avila (Ensemble)
$100
Theatre nerd living my Jack Kelly dreams. D&D enthusiast. Lover of dangerously steamy fantasy novels. Adopt me and I’ll slay dragons and scenes—preferably in costume. Extra points if you bring snacks.
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Lauren Boyd (Director)
$100
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Mackenzie Tennessen (Musical Director)
$100
I love musical directing and long walks on the beach. In my spare time, I watch the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City and run Uniform Theatre from my couch.
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Alyson Horne (Assistant Director)
$100
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Caitlin Grant (Assistant Musical Director)
$100
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Steven Sobolewski (Stage Manager)
$100
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Quinn Woodruff (Assistant Stage Manager)
$100
Usually found with soft cheese in my left pocket and crackers in my right. I am a big fan of physical theatre and dance! Ive got jokes. They won't be good but if you adopt me I'll make one up for you!
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Logan Stefura (Costume Designer)
$100
I love to go on marathon thrift store trips, play dress up and listen to The Wiz. When i'm not doing that, i'm probably cuddling my cats.
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Will Chichak (Set Designer)
$100
I'm glad to be able to expand my horizons of what I can bring to the table of a production. I like to watch weird art! I'm always learning how to make different cocktails and love to share them.
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Brooke Fersovitch (Costume Assistant & Props Designer)
$100
Usually found dancing every chance I get. My days are filled with props, costumes, volunteering with Kin Canada, and teaching Highland dance. My excess of spare time is usually spent thinking about NCIS and Dolly Parton at least as much as the average person.
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Patrick Amyotte (Sound Designer)
$100
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