The Herbst Theater is our venue, named after JSAC founding member Herb Herbst. But on Saturday nights, it's transformed to a sporting arena where two teams battle it out for improv comedy dominance. Win the chance to have our space named for YOU every Saturday night for the year! We'll welcome our loyal fans not just to the match, but to watch ComedySportz Jersey Shore play in the Henrietta Atwood Arena. Note: this auction item is open to all people, not just those named Henrietta Atwood. We'll sub in the winner's name for Henrietta's. That's how this works.

Do you just not like Scott's name? Does he look more like an Alex to you? Or heck, do you want to rename him something else entirely, like Potato? Winning this auction item gives you the power to rename one of our players for six months. Any time they are part of the match, be it playing, reffing, or on tech, they will be addressed by this new name that you bestow (minding our Out of Bounds foul, of course). You pick the player, you pick the new name.

Retired CSz player Adam built our wonderful red and blue benches that the teams sit on each week. But we can do even better. Let's give the benches names...you get to choose which bench and what name. If you want to be punny you could even name one after the Cincinnati Reds catcher...yeah, that's right, we could wind up with the Johnny Bench bench. These naming rights are good for all of 2026.

THIS IS YOUR ALL ACCESS PASS! This item will entitle you to one free admission to any regular ComedySportz match in 2026. Yeah, that's right...you just waltz on in, throw your name at the box office, and we'll shower you with glitter and welcome you in for no cost. Except without the glitter. Stuff's impossible to clean up.

You're watching a ComedySportz match, and your sister is playing but her team isn't winning. This auction item bestows upon you five extra points to give her team, no questions asked. Valid at any regular ComedySportz match in 2026, playable any time between when the players are introduced and when the final score is announced.

You know that slideshow we play before every match? Well now YOU can star in your very own slide. Or you can put your pet cat Lucy in the slideshow. Whatever you want (minding the out of bounds foul), we'll create a custom slide dictated by you, to run on regular rotation throughout the year.

We close every match out with a pun round. Well now, for one match of your choosing, YOU get to give us all of the pun suggestions. Want to see us pun about the Hess truck? We'll do it! Want puns about cinnamon buns? Sure, we'll give you bun puns, hun! You control what we pun about, and we'll pun with it!

Hold up, I think that's supposed to be meet and greet. (checks notes) yes, this item entitles you to peek behind the curtain (literally, you can see what's behind our backstage doorways) and have a meet and greet with the cast of one of our upcoming shows. Either before or after our match, you pick. Note: CSz Jersey Shore is not responsible for any offensive or excessive player sweatiness if the meet and greet is done after a match.

Win this item and win an autographed ComedySportz Jersey Shore jersey. You pick, red or blue. We'll get as many of our players as we can to sign their John Hancocks (or their Ria Torricellis) and you can proudly own an authentic Jersey jersey.

Shore Thing Theater runs Intro to Improv classes several times throughout the year. Win this item and win free admission to one cycle of classes (usually either 6 or 8 weeks). Come discover your inner funny, it's there, we know it!

Hold on there, Tina Turner, not quite. But we WILL be your private improv players. That's right, we'll do a 30 minute local private match just for you and your friends. Or heck, just for you if you want to be the only one in the audience, it's all good to us!

That's the DUMBO section of Brooklyn, home of The Rat Theater, where ComedySportz New York City plays. Here's four tickets to see a CSzNYC match (so you can cross one more CSz city that you've visited off your bingo card).

You don't have to be vain...Csz player Lex will create a custom song just for you. You choose the topic, what you want in the song, and Lex will make it happen. You'll get an audio file of the song, and Lex will even perform it at halftime in one of our matches (he doesn't know about that last part, but it'll be a fun surprise for him!).

This item entitles the winner to direct CSz player Mitch to create a custom song just for you. It can be autobiographical, or about your favorite flower and why it's a daisy, or about your favorite cat named Daisy. Or heck, go wild and ask for a song having nothing to do with daisies. The team will perform the song for you at halftime in one of our matches.

So here's how this works. You tell CSz player Mitchell (and their partner Dan) your music tastes, and they will curate a custom playlist just for you. Maybe even throw in some artists you haven't heard of. You choose if you want this playlist on an app or an old-school audio cassette. Rewinding pencil not included.

Do you want to be warned with an ominous audible whenever Aunt Sally calls? Or maybe you want your sweetie's calls to ring with their actual name. Whatever it is, CSz player Lex will create one custom ringtone for your phone.

Overnight stay at a luxury hotel a stone's throw from the boardwalk?? Don't mind if I do! Use by May 16th, one night King room at Bungalow Hotel in Long Branch, NJ. Gorgeous rooms w/ shopping and great food within walking distance. You're going to want this for yourself, even though it makes a great gift. https://www.bungalowhotel.net/

Well that's one way to describe this, a crocheted ravioli made just for you by CSz player Scott's daughter Ana. This one is entirely gluten free, and zero calories (we think...there was no nutrition label on the skein of yarn).

Coordinate a date and time with CSz player Emily, and she'll...I don't know the word...install? fairy hair for you and up to three of your friends. You'll sparkle just like...I don't know, something sparkly.

The CSz team holds a white elephant gift exchange every December. This year, we've purchased one extra gift, and that gift is for you. That's right, you'll get our leftovers! Will it be a squatty potty? A pillow with Nic Cage's face on it? These are both legitimate items that have traded hands at previous white elephants. Who knows what you could wind up with.

It's so sparkly! This lot of necklaces, earrings, etc., also comes with its own carrying case. But buyer beware...it's costume jewelry, not real gold and gems. But it's still sparkly!

This lot is most of what you need for an amazing charcuterie board. All of the non-refrigeration-worthy items are included: crackers, bread, nuts, chutney, spreads, etc. Add your favorite meats and cheeses and you're set to go!

In addition to her day job and running this joint on the side, Ria also finds time to make homemade liquor. With this prize, she'll make you a bottleful (or flaskful) of your very own homemade liquor. Choose from: Kahlua, Baileys, Amaretto, Coquito or Ginger Liquor. Oh yeah, over 21 for this one please.

Nah, we're not being rude. But if you want to get away from it all, CSz player Mona, a real-life travel agent, will provide you with a full trip itinerary for an upcoming trip. She's got the skills to find the cool places to visit and eat, let her make your trip even better.

Our team's very own presentation expert Mona has offered to prepare one customized PowerPoint presentation for you. Use it to impress your boss, use it to convince your kids why they should do more chores around the house, it's up to you.

Remember that custom PowerPoint presentation from the last item? Well with this one, Mona will give you (and your team if so desired) a 45 minute 1:1 training on her best practices, tips, and tricks in PowerPoint. Coordinate with Mona on a time and she'll make you into a PowerPointPro!

Well, Helens can apply. Just not Helen Hunt. I'm sure she has people who can do this for her. But if you don't have your own "staff," then CSz player Mona, a self-certified foodie, will prepare a custom foodie scavenger hunt for a town of your choice. Also, Helen Hunt, if somehow you are reading this, sure, you can place a bid.

CSz player Stacy dreams of summer. She knows it's getting colder, but darn it all, she can't wait for summer to come around again. So she's donating a big old basket of pool toys so that you can be ready along with her for when the weather warms up and the pool (or ocean or lake or other aqueous feature) is ready for you!

CSz player Mitchell has a keen eye for wildlife. They're allowing you to take home one of the posted wildlife photos (like this AWSOME BIRD), printed and framed just for you. At a reasonable size, that is. C'mon, don't ask for a wall-size mural.

CSz player Mitchell spends their nights making up stuff on our field, but during the day, it's all littles all the time. That's right, Mitchell is an experienced early childhood educator, and is offering to keep an eye (or two) on your offspring so you can have a night out (maybe on a Saturday to see a CSz match, just sayin').

Who doesn't want some unique fresh salsa? Like really, when is it NOT a good time for some chips and dip? Mitchell will make up a few batches of some unique salsas just for you (you can share or not, that's up to you). Eat 'em right away or freeze 'em for a bit, that's also up to you.

CSz player Susan runs Yes And Metuchen (YAM), where she teaches improv to the Brainy Boro folks. You too can take a six-week YAM class with this item (schedule is still being finalized but classes are expected to run starting in January). Sorry, YAM only...mashed potatoes not included.

What's in THIS Shore Thing Theater branded tote? Well, it's a variety of Shore Thing Theater and ComedySportz magnets, buttons, and stickers! Even comes with red and blue shovels! So much merch!

Do you have a clue what this item is? Move over Hallmark, CSz's very own Jen Kitchen has hand-made a dozen greeting cards for you. These are blank on the inside so you can use them for birthdays, graduations, Arbor Day...whatever you wish!

CSz player Matt buys way too many tiny things (because he loves a great deal). Now you get to benefit from his overpurchasing! Matt will send you a monthly item (for 6 months) matching any great deal he finds - sometimes a rechargable battery, sometimes a cool halloween decoration, who knows! We prommise it won't be alive... probably. Either have your item shipped to you, or pick it up from Matt himself at the theater.

Even CSz player Kevin! You pick the movie, and Kevin will provide you with a Siskel and Ebert-worthy review. Get his thoughts on your favorite film, or make him sit through the worst movie ever (we would never suggest such a thing, right?).